How to develop ethical influence at personal and professional level?

We are social being and we influence each other in some or other way. On daily basis we do couple of interactions and throughout the whole life span we meet many people. Some inspirations or values we associate with them or sometimes we resonate with those values. If I ask “Who are your inspirations? What values do you see in them? How do you resonate with those values at your core and behavior level? With whom you would like to spend time and why? What do you feel, experience and learn while being in interactions with someone?”

During my last toastmaster’s meeting I was TME, and theme was inspiration. I got a chance to speak and listen about ‘What inspires a person? and why?”. Talking about inspiration itself an inspiration, isn’t it? Following rules, always being in present state even when no one is watching you, honestly and consistently putting hard work to achieve a defined goal, helping others, respecting others, etc. reading, listening and deeply rooting of these kinds of statements refine our values and develop trust and gratitude for our inspirations. These inspirations influence our lives on daily basis at personal and professional level.

The ability to be a person of influence, who listen to and take seriously, is one of the most important skill we learn in our life. This ability has the power to change our and other’s life for betterment. Now point is that how to learn this skill. Knowingly or unknowingly we all have some percentage of this skill but bringing our awareness can make us to refine and amplify this skill to become a good human being and a better performer.

At personal or professional level, we perform many roles, in each and every role somewhere we touch other’s life and leave an impact. Our behavior is minutely observed by our surroundings. If you are a parent your children silently observe and learn many things from your behavior. If you are a team leader your motivational personality influences your team members and affects overall performance of a team.

Many of times people have perception that they can’t influence other’s, it is a manipulative skill or it is not learnable. Well, all are myths. Yes, a few people have natural qualities but it is also a fact that it is learnable. It is not about being manipulative rather it is about being a good human being who uplifts their and others life.

A team leader says “Current projects needs to be delivered within a month, all team members have to come at early and stay late for 2 hours on daily basis, in case of failure one may get red marked for promotions and bonus.” What may be the influence and impact of this statement? Some team members will fearfully follow the rules, some may be following to keep their job safe since it is their need, some may be following cause of the pleasure of greed in the form of promotion or bonus, some may be following because they understand the intention behind that rule and their values inspire to do that, some may be least bothered who are careless people.  When team members are influenced and motivated by team leader, they diligently follow rules and put their valued hard work to exhibit their best performance without any fear or greed. They believe in their leader and think about their and company’s benefit if they are well coached and motivated by their leader. A leader who is coached can reframe the statement “Team mates, it’s a time where we have a limited one month time to complete current project, I trust we can do it as a team. I trust my teammates have enough potential and strength to strengthen me to successfully complete the project with all of you. I would highly appreciate if all of you give your valuable time by stretching working hours. All of you are integral part of project, your responsible efforts will be going to benefit you and company as well.” What is the influence and impact of these statements? Indirectly here a leader is exhibiting and inducing values like trust, honesty, hard work, value of time, empowering others, sense of belongingness, consistency and mutual respect among the team members. If a leader genuinely spends respect and trust currency on his/her team members and empathetically understand them by understanding their communication system, in return team members spend their hard-earned currency for their leader in the form of talent, time and loyalty.

Fear, Greed or Trust all three are drivers and influencers as well. Among these three Trust is the deepest influencer which leave an impact for long period of time. People never leave or forget these trustworthy leaders.

In a similar way if you are a parent, use your language in such way that it influences your child, ethical values will be coded in their mind permanently, which will help them to shape up as an influencer personality and a successful good human being. For example, if you say “Respect others and help others.” Children adapt that behavior and register those values while you are talking and helping others.

To develop influencer skill, one needs to understand the communication system and balancing emotions. NLP and Emotional Intelligence provide a bundle of tools and techniques, using that one can improve at understanding people’s behavior patterns, language patterns, representation systems, perceptions, emotional balancing and emotional expressions etc. GOOD NEWS, all these techniques are learnable and result oriented provided one keeps them into the practice and apply, it may take some time but gradually you can see transformational results. Coaching of these techniques can be attained into personalize, customized or group sessions. It is completely based on one’s choice and desire to become an influencer to perform better and grow self and others.

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