How to take care of communication in tough situations?

 “Sonder” is the profound, individual realization that each person you meet is living their own life, that each person has their own world fitted with their own personal worries, pains, pleasures, ambitions, routines, etc. – The same as yourself, in a sense, but also as intricate and as different as could be imagined. Little sonder can make people’s life happier and more compassionate. Let me explain you by giving example.

Person A – Sometimes, people (A type) going through tough phases think of they are the only one who are given this toughness. ‘Why me? It is my pain. It is my struggle. No one can understand my situation.’ In other words, association of heavy emotions with self-identity. Comparisons with external world and assuming others’ lives better life than them, it induces these emotions in unconscious mind. Having this practice, people start tagging themselves as unlucky or failure. Eventually they lose their self-confidence and self-worth. At behavioral level either they become rude & less sensitive or cranky & over sensitive. Sometimes putting oneself or others into the blame frame unknowingly becomes a habit of thinking into blame frame.

Person B – If a person is diagnosed with any disease or going through any tough time, reactions of dear ones matter a lot. Human beings are emotional beings we all experience and express our emotions. Our relationships are nurtured by expressions of these emotions. While our dear ones are experiencing any heavy emotion, a sudden fear pops up in our mind and then a series of other emotions takes place. A reaction is the outcome of those emotions. Sometimes people (B Type) shout at others, scold them for not being careful or become too much worried and cry etc. Everyone has their immune system level which is based on many things like, genetics, heredity, medical history, disabilities by birth, accidental damages etc. No on wants to be ill intentionally but it happens even after taking a great care.

Considering a situation where person A and person B are communicating. What will happen? Often misunderstandings and conflicts. Who is wrong?, No one. Who is not concern?, No one. Who doesn’t care?, No one. Then Why misunderstanding and Conflicts. Answer is the lack of understanding of communication system and Sonder.

Mastering mind for effective communication and developing emotional intelligence help people to improve the strength relationships and quality of life.

  1. Understanding everyone has their perception, based on that they take their decisions.
  2. Everyone has their mind map based on that they develop a representation system of communication. Understanding self and other’s communication style help to understand each other in a better way.
  3. Think before reacting. Take a pause. Change your reactions into the response. Active and deep listening is very important before answering.
  4. Think by being emotionally intelligent. Identifying, Accepting Self and other’s emotions and exhibit a behavior after managing those emotions.
  5. Believing in ‘Everyone has the same feelings and they feel in a similar way while going through different phases of life.’ Develops compassion. Kindness of heart and words can make the positive energy shifting at huge level.
  6. Expecting people should behave according to your perception is kind of putting a force. If you want them to guide then make them understand the things with their understanding level. Being persuasive with modesty works well when you are able to manage your own emotions.
  7. Indulging self-emotions and throwing them on others may create unnecessary chaos in the critical situations. Practicing Self-regulation of emotions is a must.
  8. Sometimes a presence or listening ears are more than enough. One should understand the situation and person’s mental status.
  9. Practicing gratitude and journal writing help people to reflect on self and clean out the space to feed positive and productive ones.

Approaching Life coaches is recommended if one is not able to handle the situation on their own. Coaches help them to find the solutions by make them understand that resources are within. Learning and applying mind mastering and emotional intelligence techniques help people to develop good habits and ease to handle tough situations at either end.

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