Using Pain or Pleasure to improve Performance and achieving Success.
What drives you ?
Something which move towards pleasure OR something which move away from pain, isn’t it? Pain and pleasure associations massively influence our lives. The decisions we make, the actions we take, and the habits we indulge in, are all based on this principle. In fact, every part of your psyche is influenced in some way by the pain-pleasure principle. We learn strategies, which we enjoy and repeat OR hate and avoid. We are therefore who we are today because of how we have interpreted and acted upon the experience of pain and pleasure in our life.
Secret to success is learning how to use pain and pleasure, instead of having pain and pleasure use you. – Anthony Robbins
If we associate pleasure with resourceful and empowering actions then we tend to do resourceful and empowering things. If we associate pleasure with un-resourceful and disempowering actions then we will tend to do un-resourceful and disempowering things. And, if we associate pain with resourceful and empowering actions then we will tend to avoid doing them. The actions that we do or do not take tend to determine the outcomes that we experience in our lives.
Can we avoid the experience of pain and pleasure? Well, yes or no, sometimes we have the choice and sometimes we need to accept whatever comes in our way. Can we experience better outcomes of actions that we have taken while experiencing pain or pleasure? Answer is “YES”. And that’s the secret of using pain and pleasure for success.
How to use pain and pleasure to improve performance and achieving success.
First of all, one should know what drives you more: pain or pleasure? Using NLP meta programs one can know the answer of this question.In Neuro-Linguistic Programming or, NLP, meta-programs are the keys to the way you process information. NLP meta-programs are basically how you form your internal representations and direct your behavior.
Once you are clear ‘what drives you then you can associate that experience with your goal’ and find yourself motivated. For example, target or completion date may be pain or pleasure for different people. If you are a pleasure driven person then you would love to see that date and can associate yourself with the pleasure of successful completion of project. For some people it is an amazing driver that they complete the things even before the marked date. On contrary, if you are a person who like to move away from pain, then associate an experience of “what if you are not able to complete project” with your goal, it will keep you motivated to complete the project to avoid that pain.
This is how one can use pain and pleasure to improve one’s and other’s performances. If you are a team leader, teacher or parent, you can use this technique to improve the performance of your team mates, students or children.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jungn.
If you find a student feels irritated while learning a subject. As a teacher or parent, you may be wondering why that fellow is behaving like that. How do you react when a child is making mistakes? What do you do when a child doesn’t able to perform? Shouting, scolding or punishing, what will happen with that. We like a subject when we associate a pleasure experience with that. During a session a girl told me “I like English subject; My English teacher encourage me to write poetry and stories.” On contrary when children associate any painful experience with particular subject, they don’t like that subject. Though one can’t be the master of each and everything, equally liking of each subject also not possible. Based on our personality type, meta programs and experiences liking levels may be different.
Now as a parent or a teacher how can we guide children so that they can perform their best. Simple, first understand ‘what drives them’. If you guide them in the direction where they feel comfortable and confident, you can accelerate their learning process. On contrary pushing them towards opposite direction may slow down or destroy their learning. During learning process or study time they may behave in a little immature way. Here we need to address their concern. They are not the subject master and yet to in young age where at each step they come across new experiences at emotional, physical and mental level. Keep patience, take care of their self-respect and then respond them. It may take some time to improve and bring that maturity level of behavior, but knowing and understanding self and their communication system work well. As an adult it is our responsibility to learn to know about ourselves to manage our emotions and understand communication system and make our children learning too. Little awareness and motivated guidance can develop many heroes as a good human being, on contrary unknowingly it may lead them towards depression, failures or wrong doings.
If you are a team leader then applying this technique on your team mates may help you to bring more understanding with teammates to bring out their best performances.
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